TODAYS TOP STORY:
By Daniel at 30 June, 2009, 3:14 pm
Facing declining consumer confidence as numbers fell to falling to 49.3 from a slightly downwardly revised 54.8 in May, The Obama administration wasted no
time responding to the potential threat to the presidents supply of lemonade.
In a news conference on the steps of the White House Propaganda Wing,
Rahm “Goebbels” Emanuel announced that President Obama, Barney Frank, Nancy Pelosi, Charles Schumer, and The Ugly Little Troll From California
were putting the finishing touches on an emergency measure dubbed.
“The Give Yourself A Break Bill.”
Although the details are sketchy at this point, Emanuel indicated bill would
allow US Taxpayers to loan themselves up to $100,000 per year ($125,000 for single filers) at the prime rate of 3.25 +1.0 points. The terms are fixed for 8 years and then re-adjust to the market rate +3.0 points thereafter.
Theses would be open end loans with terms “Allowing the suckers…I mean taxpayers to take as long as they need to pay back the loans stated Frank in a separate statement. That is, of course along as they make the miminum payment with interest of course.”
Although where the proceeds from the interest would ultimately go is still
the subject of speculation, it is believed the funds would pass go and
be deposited directly to Federal Reserve and be used by The PPT
to keep the stock markets from crashing.
Any excess funds would be put in to a trust account to pay for Nancy Pelosi’s jet fuel, future cosmetic surgeries and for off camera voice-overs to cover for Vice-President Biden’s never-ending gaffs which is reportedly is causing increasing tension between him and lemonade producers within the White house.
President Obama is expected to give a commercial-free, hour long presentation from the White House on all the major networks sometime next week, to be followed by a two week tour of the country in Air Force One to sell the plan to
anyone who will listen.
Although the networks claim to be doing this as a “public service to their president”, there are reports that they are being compensated from the TARP fund money which was returned by Goldman-Sachs according to a report by Fox News.
Emanuel further added “That the looming crisis in consumer confidence
should be looked at as an opportunity, because as every good Democrat
should know by know, never let a good crisis go to waste.
After the news conference, the leaders of the minority Republican party
apparently expressed outrage, but non of the reporters stayed to listen to them.
-AP NEWS
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