I heard that joke about a year ago, still makes me smile: “The Heaviest Element Known to Science”

Dec.02, 2008 in Market Outlook

“Laboratories Lawrence Livermore has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 100 assistant neutrons,and 456 deputy neutrons giving it an atomic mass of 557.

These 557 particles are held together by forces called m0rons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more m0rons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of m0rons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever m0rons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many m0rons.”

Did you like this? If so, please bookmark it,